Rotterdam 2023 Review: ´My Little Nighttime Secret´

© International Film Festival Rotterdam

Natalya Meshchaninova´s My Little Nighttime Secret is the brave autobiographical retelling of a girl´s need for escapism from her abusive household.

Directed by: Natalya Meshchaninova
Year: 2023
Country: Russia
Length: 90 Minutes

Set on New Year’s Eve in Russia, Fourteen-year-old Mira is celebrating the coming turn of the year. Things appear festive outside of the apartment complex where MIra lives with her mother, stepfather, and younger sibling, as fireworks are lit and a spectrum of light shines through the windows. However, Mira only has one wish, which is to spend the night with her friend Lera. Her stepfather objects to Mira´s plans, because of the age difference between the two friends (Lera is two years older than Mira) and expresses fear that Mira might hide the fact that she’s actually meeting up with boys and will do more than just playing games and listening to music. From the get-go, the relationship between Mira and her stepfather is portrayed as being strained, with Mira visibly being detached from the man who is trying to become uncomfortably close to her at points, implying a sinister connection between the two. Mira´s mother takes on a seemingly passive role in the family, as she would let her daughter go visit her friend but is held back by her husband´s opinion. As family members enter the building and Mira isolates herself from the rest, her stepfather finally permits the young girl to leave.

When Mira is finally allowed to meet up with her friend, a world much greater than the claustrophobic apartment she lives in opens up to her and the girl is finally allowed to free herself from the authoritarian rule of her stepfather. Cinematographer Artem Emelyanov shoots the exterior as an open place full of visual beauty, where the protagonist is allowed to roam around and have fun. One moment in particular that emphasizes the beauty of the outside world and the possibility to move freely is a scene in which a friend of Lera allows Mira to practice with his fireball swinging set, an act that Mira turns out to be surprisingly skilled at, which causes Lera´s friend to ask Mira to move out of the country with him and perform their act abroad. The movement of the fireballs is closely monitored by the camera and the rapidly flashing lights of fire turn the scene into a feast for the eyes. Nevertheless, what starts as a freeing escape from a toxic reality turns into a painful story about a girl who’s trying to seek help but is ignored by the people around her.

With My Little Nighttime Secret, director Natalya Meshchaninova tells a tale of abuse happening behind closed doors and urges the viewer to reflect on the frequency of this occurrence without anyone knowing about it or picking up signs. Throughout Mira´s meetings with Lera and her friends, the girl drops several hints about her situation at home, from expressing the need to escape to another place to asking a boy she´s been spending the night with to murder someone for her,  but none of her friends seem to connect these signs to Mira´s abusive stepfather. What for Mira could have been an opportunity to confide in others about the cruelty that she has had to face turns into a failed mission because nobody seems to want to listen to the girl´s story. With this work, Meschaninova highlights the importance of listening to women´s and girls’ experiences because for too long those have been ignored in our patriarchal society that prioritizes. This intensely personal and depressing film offers an essential look at child abuse and asks viewers to reflect on how they handle such situations as outsiders.

My Little Nighttime Secret premiered at the 2023 International Film Festival Rotterdam as part of the Big Screen Competition.

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